The Podcast Diaries: The Crimson Wave E11

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The Transcript: 

Go with the flow. Crimson Wave. Go with the flow. Crimson Wave. Go with the flow. Crimson Wave. Crimson Wave.

Hello! Welcome to The Crimson Wave. 

I'm Natalie Norman.

I'm Jess Beaulieu. Goodness. What a day it's been.

It's been an interesting day, so far. 

Some technical difficulties. 

It's Easter Friday.

It's Good Friday. [crosstalk 00:00:34]

Good Friday. [crosstalk 00:00:34]

Easter Friday. [crosstalk 00:00:34] 

Jew. [crosstalk 00:00:35]

Completely pointed out that I'm a Jew, correct.

Yeah. 

Big time Jew. 

It's Christian passover. 

We have an amazing guest here with us today. Holy crap. Diana Love.

So wonderful, hilarious, and patient.

Patient and understanding. Just a kind, kind friend. 

You might recognize, even though you can't see this, but Diana from Video on Trial.

You might recognize her voice from Video on Trial. 

Yeah. Her voice. She had a Comedy Now special. 

Comedy Now special.

You could find it on YouTube.

Yeah. You can also find her on YouTube in Wedding Trashers, a web series she is in. 

Yeah

And she will be on a live show for breast cancer awareness, on May 8th, at the Randolph Theater.

Amazing. 

With an amazing lineup.

Killer lineup. Close Paul Hutcherson. What a dream. What a dream come true. 

And you must go see it. You must. First of all, you're going to love her after this episode. But, she's also fantastic and it's for a good cause. 

That's true.

So, Diana. Let's talk about your period.

Let's do it.

Are you on your period? [crosstalk 00:01:44]

Are you on your period? [crosstalk 00:01:44]

I'm not currently on my period.

When did you get your last period?

I think I have one week left of my birth control package left. So, that would mean I was on my period two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago. Do you take sugar pills? Do you take the sugar pills?

I don't. It doesn't count so I don't take the sugar pills.

Who takes those sugar pills?

I don't know.

Young girls

I guess so.

Do they actually take them though?

But I've been on birth control since I was 16 years old, like I didn't need sugar pills back then. It's just a week. You just remember that it's a week. 

I have trouble counting. I've never been on the pill.

Of course you do.

You've never been on the pill?

No. 

That's fine. Some people just don't react well to it. 

But you do.

I react very well to the pill. 

And it makes you very regular.

Yes it does. I'm a very regular, we're recreating it. I get my period every, it always comes on a Thursday at around Two o'clock. 

Right.

It's an afternoon thing and it's every Thursday.

Every Thursday. 

It used to be every Tuesday.

Yep.

And the one time it didn't come, like it transitioned from Tuesday to Thursday. Even though I was only two days late I convinced myself I was pregnant.

Did you go see a doctor?

No, and I didn't even do a test, but I was just like well fuck, well fuck I'm obviously pregnant. I always get it on Tuesday, what the shit. Everyone was like you're insane. You're an insane person. It's two days late. That literally means nothing.

Yeah, but if it's so regular

It comes like clockwork.

So this is where we left off last time. Has it been regular since the beginning or since the pill?

Okay. I started my very first birth control ever was Diane 35, which they say not to take because it has a higher blood clot risk. But here's the thing, I've talked to my doctor at length about it. I don't smoke, I don't have any sort of heart conditions in my family, I'm young. I'm not bragging.

[crosstalk 00:03:37]

I'm beautiful. I have excellent hair, it's so shiny.

Basically she said, yes there is a teeny tiny higher risk than other birth controls for sure. However, just being pregnant alone is five times riskier than any sort of birth control could ever be and women don't just not get pregnant. You have a crazy chance of getting blood clots while you're pregnant.

Yeah 

People don't avoid that, so don't worry. Don't smoke, please don't smoke. I won't let you on it if you're going to smoke, which I don't so that's great. Just be aware of what the symptoms are, but she's like I'm really not concerned. I have a really great relationship with my doctor. 

When did you go on the pill?

When I was 16. I had to go on it. I was really underweight so I have a very strange relationship with my period because now it's really regular. Maybe I went on it when I was 14. I got my period when I was 12 and it was the worst. I would get it for two days, then go 80 days without it, and then get it for a week.

Wow.

Wow. 

But I was really, really underweight. Gymnasts don't get their period. Bodybuilders don't get their period. If you don't have enough natural fat content, I don't know the science. I'm not a doctor.

Interesting [crosstalk 00:05:01]

Gymnast's, Ballerina's, Bodybuilder's, and anorexic girls. I just had a crazy high metabolism, very thin, just not nice to look at. 

Wow. That's so crazy.

I had a fucked up period because of it. I guess I was 14 when I went on birth control because it was I can't do this anymore. I never know when it's coming, it either comes for like two weeks or a day. I just can't do it. 

Wow

It was the same with my sisters because they were really underweight, we're obviously related, we're sisters and they had to go on birth control to regulate their period. So, basically I was on birth control for, I lost my virginity when I was 18, so I was on it four years before I ever needed for birth control purposes.

Wow. 

It was all just regulating my shit.

And did it regulate it right away?

It has to kick in, like three months, but yes, it makes it very regular. Then when I moved to Montreal and I wasn't in school anymore and I didn't fall under my parents insurance, I wasn't on birth control. It was a year of not being on birth control, which is good, it's good to flush it out of your system then constantly be on it. 

Yah

It was pretty regular, but around the end of the year of not being on it, that's when my body just let it be willy nilly and just come whenever. I went back on it when I was back in school and I had insurance again. After I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I decided to take that as an opportunity to go off birth control for a while. Just to flush it out of my system.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's important to just, I don't want to fuck with my body, but I don't want it too constantly, so I've done a good two times. 

Which is good. I think that's good. 

Just to give it a sixth month period where it's just completely out of my system. I've been back on it now for a year. 

So it's going well? 

I have to stay on Diane 35. I tried to switch a couple of times to different ones, but I have pretty severe acne if I'm not on this kind of birth control which is my wonder drug. It keeps my skin so clear. No other birth control does it. 

That's so interesting. 

So when I found out about the higher blood clot risk of Diane, I was like fuck it, I'm not going to be on that, that's silly. I'll go on a more regulated one. Then my skin went bananas. 

Oh yeah

I'm an adult. I'm 27 years old. I don't want to have acne. It sucks. It's painful. 

People don't even understand.

So painful. I have very hormonal acne. It's not from not washing my face, it's not from 

Not It not usually is.

It's not diet. I'm definitely not a smoker. It's so hormonal. This birth control in particular helps my skin so well. I just don't fuck with it. I just don't smoke. 

That happened to me. My skin is fine now. I started breaking out a lot when I was 20, I guess. [inaudible 00:07:58] I was also really depressed, I was going through a time, but I would never get a lot, but four or five huge zits on my face. Sometimes more, sometimes 10. Then I didn't realize, I lost my virginity at that time and I went on birth control for that purpose. I went to see a dermatologist at the same time and he started giving me a wash. The zits went away. I didn't realize that it was the birth control, probably a combination. 

It was for sure [inaudible 00:08:31]

But more the birth control, right? Then I went off it. We've talked about this because I get migraines with aura's so my doctor was like you have to go off your birth control there's a risk for stroke. I went off of it and then zits started coming. I went on a progesterone only birth control.

Yeah

Which was not good. It made it worse. It made the acne worse. Then I went back on another one. Now I'm off completely. 

And your skin's doing okay?

My skin's okay. 

It's great. It looks great.

I don't know what's happening. 

It could also be the fact that you're an adult. 

Yeah and it changes. Your hormones changes.

My dermatologist, I see him like every three months, he's like a 95 year old man. He's always like, it looks good right now. You just might be growing out of it. 

Yeah 100%.

You just change. You change. If it comes back, we'll deal with it. He's like right now, you're okay. 

That's fantastic.

It's interesting because it has such an effect on your skin, birth control, like the hormones. 

You have to find the right one. 

You have too. 

Whatever works for you. You're not getting pregnant, but also your skin, just fucking don't question it. If you find a system that works, don't fuck with it. My friend was thinking about going on the Nuva-Ring because she liked the idea of it, but I asked, does the pill make you hormonal, does it make you emotional, does it make you depressed? She's like no. Does it help with your skin or anything? She's like yes. I'm like why

Why change it? 

Yeah

I mean, I'm no doctor, but I don't understand of upsetting the balance of what's already working for you. 

Let's get back to

Periods

I just love the fact that your period is so regular, so you can just prepare for it. 

Yes

Do you do anything specific?

Okay. Here's the thing. I need to buy a Diva cup big time. You're allowed to put your Diva cup in anticipation of getting your period.

Right.

You can't put a tampon in anticipation

That'd be horrible. 

That'd be the stupidest thing in the world. I could get up Thursday morning and go to work with my Diva cup in and then blamo done. You know what I mean?

Also, there are so many benefits of the Diva cup, no waste, better for your body, 

No harsh chemicals

Yeah

I don't understand why I'm not using a Diva cup. I'm just 100% an idiot.

I've heard stories that it takes a lot of time to get used to it. That's fine. Tampons took a while for me to get used too. 

Exactly. 

Do you buy yourself magazines? Do you buy yourself chocolate? Do you get PMS?

Not really.

No?

None of it?

I used to get really bad acne

Yeah

Yeah

But that's gone now. 

Do you still feel that you get breakouts at all around? I felt that when I was on birth control that was the only time I did.

I've only been back on birth control for less than a year. I think I went back on birth control in June.

Yeah

As my body slowly got used to being back on it, the breakouts around my period would still happen, but would slowly go away. 

Slowly dwindle. 

Now I can be full blown period and still not have a break out. It's kind of magical. 

It's so magical. 

I think it's a week before my period, I might cry at a commercial. You know what I mean?

Been there. Nike commercials really get me. 

Nike?

It's the weirdest thing.

I get it. They're doing it. 

Exactly. You just feel a lot emotion to their amazing athleticism. 

Yeah, you're like that's amazing. Or a good YouTube video. Wow, I'm hormonal, I'm going to get my period because I just cried at a fucking Twix commercial. That's about it. I'm pretty thankful. I have so many friends that their period just knocks them out. 

It knocks me out sometimes too and you too. 

Yeah. In terms of pain. I get bad cramps.

You think I'm stuttering now, my brain just goes boopboopboo. I throw keys out of the window. I leave phones everywhere. 

Oh no. 

It's a disaster. But this is when I asked you, when did you get your period? Tell us about when you got your period, you got older sisters

Yes

Did they give you advice? 

I 100% knew it was coming, obviously you're a woman. I was babysitting and it was late when they drove me home. I got home and I was like I am so hungry. My stomach hurts so much from being hungry. I'm sitting in my kitchen forcing cookies in my mouth. I have the worst hunger pains. Oh my hunger pains. 

No way. My hunger pains

I didn't know. My mom is just looking at me, like I have a feeling those are not hunger pains. She's like you eat those cookies cause they're going to come in handy. The next day I was taking a pee and was like oh shit. I was the youngest of my family so my two sisters already had theirs. I was kind of like I'm in the club now. I wasn't upset. I was definitely like Yay. 

How much older are your sisters than you?

Six years and four years. 

Okay. So it's been awhile.

Yeah, exactly. I kind of felt like, they were wearing make-up. I mean six years and four years now is no big deal, but back then it was a huge deal. I was 12 and they were 16 and 18. 

Yeah

They were cool dudes. I was a little girl. I was like yay, I can start doing cool stuff now. I hated being a child by the way. I hated it. 

Of course, you did. Your personality [crosstalk 00:14:02]

I didn't have a bad childhood, but I just hated being a kid. I always wanted to be a cool adult. I hated having to do stupid kid stuff and listen to stupid music with my stupid friends. They were my best friends, but I was just like you guys are so stupid. You're all kids. I started drinking coffee when I was 12. I just wanted to be an adult.

It's probably because your sisters are so much, do you have a brother too?

Yes I do. He's older too. 

So your siblings are so much older you probably just wanted to be a part of them

Yeah, just getting my period I was like fuck yes. Stupid childhood is over. 

I can just imagine Diana Love at 12 drinking a coffee with sunglasses on, Oh I'm PMSing. 

Basically. 

You're so happy about it. You know what I mean girls?

Listening to Spice Girls. Oh my god this music is so stupid. You know what I mean? You guys are so dumb for liking this. 

So did your sisters, since they're older than you, give you any advice when you got your period?

No. It was more, don't be an idiot. Not really. Just suck it up, we all get it. 

What did you use when you got it? Did you use tampons, pads?

Pads

You used pads

I used pads for the first, I probably didn't start using tampons until probably grade nine or something. 

That's super early still. 

I got it in grade seven. Yeah it's pretty early. I had friends that used tampons and I remember them passing me one like oh, I don't know what to do with it. It was the typical tampon commercial. I was stranded. I was actually stranded. All they had. I don't know about that. I used it and it's not so bad. 

Did it go in easily? Like you didn't have

I remember being young and trying out my sisters tampons and not being able to figure it out. I'm like taking it right out of the applicator, I didn't know what it was for, just being like eegghhh and having no idea what to do. It wasn't until the emergency situation that I was like, I have one shot, you better make this work. I was like Eminem in a rap battle, one opportunity. 

I did it and that's what converted me. It's so simple. I don't have to sit in a diaper. Legitimately I can't wear pads anymore, they give me yeast infections.

They make me sick

Really? Are you kidding me?

I know. I'm sorry.  [crosstalk 00:16:26]It's like the word is not very nice. 

[crosstalk 00:16:27] interesting

I can't do a pad.

I haven't ever heard that from anybody.

Neither have I 

Maybe it's not a real thing, but I get them. My friend was staying with me and she left pads at my house. I remember being like oh yeah, I'm going to wear a pad to bed or something. I'm going to try this out. No. Never. Ever again. Worst yeast infection.

That's so interesting. 

It's been how long? I've been using tampons for so long that my fucking puss is like what is this?

Well the blood is acidic right?

What is this [crosstalk 00:16:57] doing here? Yeah

I know that's a really 

No. [crosstalk 00:17:00] Moist yes.

You're sitting in a pool of your blood

My vagina's just not used to that. 

It's not used to it

Now I can't do it. Like literally it was ugh.

I just can't deal with tampons. I always feel self conscious about them. I just worry that they'll smell.

Tampons?

I'm sorry, I meant pads. I worry they'll smell. I don't understand them, I don't know how often I have to change them. What's too much blood in this pad? You know what I mean?

If you don't have one, you're like I guess I'll just keep sitting in this pad. 

Exactly. 

I only use pads. 

I know you do. I have to tell you

You just don't like?

Well I have a long history of

Of a weird vagina. I watched your episode of Losing It

Losing It

I think we did the same season.

Yeah, I think we did. 

I think we did the same episode.

Oh did we?

I think we were at season one premiere 

Check us out on MTV everyone, on Losing it [crosstalk 00:17:48]

[crosstalk 00:17:48] You should

Wait. 

Oh but, I get it.

Inside jokes, listeners about Natalie losing her virginity. 

Inside joke. Inside joke. 

We'll tell this story one day. I was just saying about the reason I don't use tampons is because it's very complicated. But I still don't like the feeling of it. 

Then you're doing it wrong if you don't like the feeling of it. Because you're not supposed to feel anything.

Yeah, you're not supposed to feel anything.

I know you're not supposed to feel anything, but I don't know. 

That's totally fine

I don't bleed a lot

That's great

But, when I don't bleed a lot, it's hard to get out. It's kind of painful pulling it out.

Yeah

Yeah it's super painful. 

I just don't want to deal with it. 

I have to say that I had a lot of trouble using tampons cause I didn't understand them at all. I had my period at a very young age.

Were you like nine or some shit?

I was 10.

Yeah that's young.

[crosstalk 00:18:43] I have so many older sisters. I have a sister who is six years older than me and she got her period when she was 14 and I got my period two years later. She used a tampon right away. No one taught me. I remember that same thing where you just pull it out of the applicator, what is this for? How do you insert it? There may be instructions, but I still couldn't comprehend it. I felt so anxious about all of it. This is a weird memory that I just jogged, I remember I felt very self conscious about my period. I was very young. I used to take a shower every morning before I went to school when I had my period. I know you're supposed to take a shower every day, but I don't.

I don't. What? I never do.

I do. I take a shower every day. 

I can't do it. Today's shower day. 

It looks great.

Thank you. It's not going to happen again for a couple days.

I don't like to shower every day either, but what I remember when I was younger and I had period. I washed just my vagina. I'd get in the bathtub every morning and wash it in the morning and before I went to bed. I didn't know what was going on.

Yeah I get it. 

Interesting. 

Well you wanted to clean it out. It's important to clean.

It is important.

But why was it so messy? 

Did you have a lot of pubic hair?

I can't remember that. 

I feel like if you have a lot of pubic hair and the blood clots

You probably thought you could before you even had pubes, you were 10. 

Yes I was very young. 

When you do you start getting pubes?

11, 12 I think.

You remember when they first came in?

No I don't.

You remember so vividly.

I don't, I think I just looked down one day, I have a bush. How was I not paying attention?

I remember when I had an uni brow. That's something you never forget. It's on your face. Why do I look like this?

When did you start waxing? I feel like you've waxed forever.

Grade four, when I got my period. 

Oh no you didn't. 

You waxed your vagina?

No, not  my vagina. 

Wait you can't have pubes in grade school. 

I waxed, wait did I? I got my first body wax when I was in grade four. 

Body wax of what?

My legs and underarms. 

In grade four?

Yeah, I must have had pubes on my vagina. 

I started getting my eyebrows waxed when I was 12 and my mother was very particular about how I was allowed to get them. I had like one big eyebrow. 

Yeah me too.

I get it. Let's just nip this in the butt. I was allowed to clean up the center and little bits of cleaning and they were allowed to trim them. My mom would sit in the room with me cause it was her eyebrow girl that would do it. I don't want to go to the grocery store and people see my 12 year old with perfectly coiffed eyebrows. That's just not cool and I'm not that kind of lady, but I also don't want to leave her hanging with a fucking Bert eyebrow. 

I just started plucking them one day. It used to be a disaster. 

Oh yeah that's what happens. 

Major, half an eyebrow would be gone. 

That's why mom took me because she didn't want me to get in that habit. 

I remember I started shaving my eyebrows. Oh this is like when you shave your beard. I just realized that. 

You shaved your face?

[crosstalk 00:21:50]We bring this up every time. 

I'll stop doing it. I just realized that I used to do that. I remember my friends and I would just take a shaver and shave. It would be horrible. It would grow back thicker and more. 

That's why mom was like I don't want that to happen. You're 12 and you're going to do something fucking stupid. 

All of my friends did. We all shaved our eyebrows. 

Oh brutal.

I would sit by myself, I didn't have any friends just sit in front of the mirror. Pluck my eyebrows and [inaudible 00:22:15]

You have beautiful eyebrows, you probably destroyed them for a long time. 

Oh thank you. 

But look at those. How bad were they? I want to see how bad you fucked them up? Can you do a TBT?

I will find it. [inaudible 00:22:27]We'll talk about that after. 

I want to ask you.

Go ahead. 

Diana's engaged. To a beautiful man. A beautiful couple.

He gave her a beautiful ring. 

One of the most beautiful rings I've ever seen. 

Oh gosh. 

I'm so excited. It's classic.

Yes classic, classy. 

It's a classy ass ring

That's something, now we're getting into ring talk, I feel like years from now, a lot of those rings people are getting now will just be ugh, like those rings in the 80's. 

Yeah

Like those marquis.

You're the first person that we've had on is the closest prospect technically maybe wanting to have children.

Maybe. I don't know. Anyone can get knocked up am I right? 

It's true. It's true.

Do you want children? Do you know?

I do for sure and Sean absolutely wants kids too. I'm sure he wants them sooner than I do. He's a norm corp. I snagged myself a little Normie and he is so adorable. 

Oh my god. I love this turn.

You know what I mean though?

I snagged myself a little Normie.

He's just the most sweet and he's 30. I'm sure he thinks he's going to have kids by 33 and I'm like whoa. I also love him very much and I don't want to take away from his life plan because we're going to accommodate each other. 

Absolutely.

Yeah

If he's 30 and wants to have kids by 35 which I guess is an acceptable thing to want. 

Oh for sure. 

Five years is so far away.

But it's not. It's very soon. That's a little stressful for me cause I'm not. I for sure don't want to have kids until I'm financially stable. 

Right. 

Fair enough. 

We're fine. We're good little double income no kids type couple. We live in an apartment and I have student debt that I'm paying down. I'm not bathing a baby in the bathtub of my apartment. That's disgusting. Never. 

So has your period ever been late before? Have you had worries?

Really the only pregnancy scare was that one time. 

Oh yes because you're so regular. 

That's about it. 

This is what I want to story. This is the reason I brought it up, we haven't asked this question before but I think it's an interesting thought. What would, what advice would you give your future daughter?

Or my niece

Or your niece, you have a lot of nieces and nephews, about their period, how would you react? What is the future of Diana Love going to be like when it comes to menstruation?

Oh gosh, well. I don't know. I guess obviously they're going to learn a lot from their friends and their friends older sisters and their teachers are obviously a big part of that. I'm trying to think of conversations I had with my mom. Exactly she let me sit on the floor eating cookies cause my hunger. She didn't know for sure and she didn't want to freak me out. I don't know. By then, what am I going to do, force a child to use a Diva cup? I don't think so. 

That's drastic.

Here's something, I'll probably use cloth diapers on my babies. 

Okay. 

It's something I feel strongly for, it is crazy wasteful. There are crazy chemicals that you're putting against a child's genitals. That's an absorbent part of their body. Vaginas absorb stuff. So sitting in this type of pad, there's just so many chemicals. You know, my mom used it and she's fine. But I'm a crazy, new age, hippie chick that has a weird idea of, first of all the environment and just pads that never decompose ever, but then I don't want to raise the weird kid that uses reusable pads and their friends find out and they're like gross. Your mom washes your pads at the end of the day? Well, I do. It's really big in Japan. They make their own pads out of cotton material and they stuff them. Then they just wash them in hot water and they use them again. 

It's great.

There's also reusable tampons that are made out of sea sponge. 

Really?

Yes. 

Have you used one?

No. I did. I never told you guys, but took part in an ethical consumption fair in university and my entire booth was on alternative menstruation products. 

What? [crosstalk 00:27:14] You just dropped that bomb now?

What?

I'm so sorry. 

You're like an expert on alternative menstruation products. 

I'm not an expert. 

You had a booth?

Yes I did. 

That's an expert. You had your own fucking booth. I am in shock right now.

Yes in shock.

I'm so sorry. 

You're like I have a doctorate in feminine hygiene products.

I don't. 

But close

It's a real guilt that I just use tampons now because it's just, at the end of the day, normal menstruation products are the easiest. 

Yes.

I love the idea of using reusable grocery bags every time, but sometimes I forget to take my reusable grocery bag and sometimes I need plastic bags cause my cats poop needs to go somewhere. 

Yeah

It's just hard

It's a struggle

To make these decisions. But I feel when it's my child and I can be more prepared for it, I would really, but I would also love North American culture to embrace alternative menstruation products more than they already do because they don't. Diva cups are getting there but

They're hard to come by

And also so many people want to make fun of them. People don't understand them. Oh a cup that catches your blood, that's so stupid and gross. You're sticking a piece of bleached cotton up your vagina, that's also stupid and gross you dummy. 

What's wrong with just using a fucking cup that has no chemicals that's going to harm your body and help the environment cause you're not flushing it into the fucking sewer. 

Right. 

Oh I'm sorry, I reuse it and it makes it gross? Eat my ass. That's not [crosstalk 00:28:52]

We've all reused our underwear and some people have sharted in their underwear. 

I have, many times

Jesus, right?

What other alternative?

Wait, I have so much to ask.

First, before we move on, you can ask your question, I want to know what if you use a Diva cup, will you just throw out your blood or because you're a little more environmentally and hippity dippity

When I make art out of it?

Not art. 

We have had an artist that does that. 

I know. I know that's a thing. I probably wouldn't cause I'm not artistic. 

Would you use it for plants? Because people can use it for plants and all that stuff.

I would consider it for sure. Yeah, probably. I also have cats, so I don't have plants cause they destroy them. 

Fair enough. 

But if I have my outdoor garden, but then I'd have to walk all the way from the bathroom with a cup full of blood. What happens if I run into Christopher Robinson and he sees my blood cup?

Your roommate Chris Robinson, another comedian. 

I don't think he's ready to see my cup of blood. So for the most part, I probably would just dump it. But I'm not against people using their blood for crafts, it's full of iron. 

[crosstalk 00:29:51]

I was just going to say what other alternatives

Well homemade pads are fantastic.

Homemade pads, yeah

At the end of the day, it's just your blood. You just wash it out with hot water. 

How would you make a homemade pad? 

It's kind of like not polar fleece, because that would not be absorbent, but like flannelette. 

Okay. 

Flannelette? 

Flannel, but like softer flannel. It's called flannelette. A lot of bedsheets are made of flannelette. 

Oh

Then it's just stuffed with cotton, the same thing a reusable diaper would be made out of. 

Right. 

Then you just put Velcro, so it goes around your underwear. I don't like the word panty by the way. I'm sorry. 

Don't worry, that's fine. 

You Velcro it, or you can use snaps. It's huge in Asia. People will make really cute patterns. 

You can buy them on Etsy. [crosstalk 00:30:50] like in argyle.

Some people, if their bedsheets are done, they just wash them and make pads out of them. 

That's what this idea. 

It's crafty. 

It's a very fun afternoon activity.

If you have a washer in your home, then you can just wash them on hot and what is the difference?

You could make several. You could make five and you could just make 20. 

Of course, you could make 20

And save them in a bin and then clean them out all at once. You don't even have to deal with it

Exactly. 

And what's alternative to, you were talking about this tampon

Sea sponge tampon. I don't know how, I've never used one. It was something I had to research. You get two, they look like little balls, they don't really look a lot like a tampon, but it's the same principle. They just attach a little string to it. It's basically the same principle as a tampon, but it's not bleached cotton that's going up there leaving traces of fucking everything up there. 

Right. 

It's just a natural sea sponge that just collects it. Then you just wring it out and put it back up and then at the end of your period you just wash them. 

That's cool

You just boil them, I forget now because my booth was literally 10 years ago.

What was this booth? Where did this booth come from?

My friend Susan was putting on an ethical consumption fair at the University of Prince Edward Island. We lined the halls

Cause you're from PEI

Exactly. People were doing it on crops and crop rotations, buying local, and eating organic food which I have a few opinions on, but whatever. 

Just the idea of living in a world where we can consume more ethically and just being more aware of our purchasing, which is something, I sound like such an asshole. People are going to be like you're an idiot. It's something I feel really passionate about. 

No. You're the opposite of an idiot. 

It's something I struggle with all the time. 

Of course. 

It's hard. 

Especially on a limited income

Absolutely

It took me a while. I bought organic tampons for a long time. It's just with unbleached cotton and it's organic cotton and it's just better for everything up there. 

Right

After a while, I was like I can't afford these. They are very expensive. Of course, they are, it's organic cotton. It's harder. I want to support that company because I think it's such a great thing they're doing. But at the end of the day what kind of research do I have to do to ensure they actually are organic?

Right. That's another thing. 

How do I even go about finding that out for sure. It's this company, but you find crazy fucked up things about a company in the end and you have to really research about it. Then you're just lazy if you want to be passionate about something but you're not going to do the research. 

You're right. You are totally right, that's why I just go back and blindly consume things. It is tough. I feel like by the time I'm a parent, which is why I don't want to have kids anytime soon, because maybe by the time I'm a parent, it will be something that I really can get my shit around. I can raise kids that are like I don't give a shit if you want to make fun of my reusable pad. My mom's awesome and she makes them for me and she washes them for me at the end of it and fuck you. I'll use reusable diapers.

These amazing pads with these cool designs, designer, pads

Their friends will be like that's gross and she'll be like you're gross. 

You're terrible for the environment, go away. 

All I want is nerdy kids. 

With your Normie. 

with my little Normie. But he's nervous they'll be too nerdy because he's really athletic and he taught me to play sports once and it was just half our DNA. I hope they get your athleticism, which is so true. They could. 

If I could just get a nerdy kid that's super into the environment and into good music, but also athletic is that asking too much?

No.

No. You just want a well rounded child.

I want a well, I just don't want a basic bitch for a daughter. 

Oh my god Diana. Well that's so cool. I didn't know that about you. I didn't know you were so earthy.

That's the thing, You come to my house and am I? Yes I use environmentally conscious products for cleaning products and stuff

It's a start. You start somewhere. You're aware of it.

But I also bleach my bathtub when I can't get it to be white enough. 

Yeah, who doesn't though?

My mom bleaches everything. 

My mom bleaches everything too. 

Including what? Her, no.

Anyway, I don't know. 

I think she's going for underwear. 

Yes, otherwise I have to throw out every pair of underwear. Do you want to tell us a story before we go?

Oh my god are we done already?

Yeah we've been chatting for a long time here. 

Whoa. 

It flies by when you're talking about periods. 

Oh my gosh. 

I'll ask this question, do you have sex on your period? 

Oh okay, here's something.

Okay great. 

I do, but not during cause I will have a heavy flow. 

Right.

I just don't feel sexy when I have a heavy flow and I have to feel sexy if I'm going to have sex. 

Totally. 

However, my period lasts a full seven days and so I'll go nuts if don't have it. You know what I mean? I'm also kind of a neat freak and I have white bedspread and stuff, so I have to move my blanket far away. If blood ever got on it, I'd lose my mind. I put a towel down. I don't know if I've ever had sex during the crazy heavy flow, it would be.

It would be a blood bath.

It would. It would look like an abortion. 

Oh my gosh.

I don't want that. I'd never feel sexy. A lot of times you just put a towel down. I don't like him going down on me, it has to be a couple days afterwards. I do not want

That's a weird image. 

Has he ever pulled out your tampon for you? 

No. I don't let him. This is graphic, but when we're done having sex, I always have baby wipes beside the bed and then I just stand up and collect the cum. It's disgusting. I know. He sees me do the grossest things which is cleaning out my bits. I laugh. It's just a little jig I do. However, for some reason, I'll never pee in front of him, ever. 

That is so funny. 

That's interesting. 

If we're about to have a shower and he has to pee and I have to pee, I'm like close your eyes. I'm not peeing in front of you ever. Yet I'll shake your cum out. 

Does he think it's hilarious?

Yeah a little bit. 

They say great sex is when it also can be humorous. 

Oh we laugh a lot during sex. 

Sex is hilarious. Are you kidding me? Especially if there's a queef in there. Oh my god. No one can see it, but she just shimmied her whole body.

[crosstalk 00:37:48] I'm so sorry. 

No, that was amazing.

That was amazing. 

Here's something though, I'm also pretty comfortable having sex on period now because two times in my life I had 30 day periods. 

What?

What? Okay, hold on. You just keep on throwing bombshells at us. 

This is too much.

Twice; once when I was really young because I saw this documentary about Diane 35 and it terrified me cause I was young and I watched it on CVC. It was talking about all these girls that died from it. I was 16. I was like bye and I stopped taking it. My doctor was like you shouldn't have done that because you are going to just continue to bleed, until your period comes, like you didn't complete the cycle. If there are young girls listening to this ever, 

We hope there are.

Please, never do that. Nothing's going to happen. Just don't stop. I literally bled for 30 days. 

Was it heavy the whole time?

No, but it was there the whole time. 

Holy hell. 

It was brutal. Then a year ago I had a 30 day period. 

Cause you switched birth control?

I took the morning after pill and actually realized I was never in any pain or anything but when I got my period and it just kept coming and it lasted for 30 days. That's a long time. 

That's horrifying. 

You just get used to the idea. I talked to the doctor about, oh that happened. I took the morning after pill and then two weeks later I went on birth control or something. When you start birth control you can spot the whole month because there're just changes to your body and then the morning after pill. It was just a perfect storm of breakthrough bleeding all the time. It was such perfect storm that it just felt like a 30 day. 

Was it super heavy?

No, but again it was there. 

Do you get cramps or anything?

I don't remember now. Probably. I'm going to say yes because that's so much blood. 

Holy shit. 

We got real comfortable with just fucking during my period, during that 30 day. 

Yeah, you have too. 

Right?

You've got too, I mean 30 days. If you can't go for seven days, I can't imagine Diana Love being at 30 days humping everything. 

You would be ripping your hair out. 

Probably.

You would be. 

So I am pretty comfortable now. I can't do a heavy period sex. I just don't feel sexy. I just need to feel fresh. 

I love it. 

That's a great way to end it. 

Yes, just need to feel fresh. 

Thank you so much. This has been amazing. 

What an awesome episode. So interesting talking about topics that you haven't discussed before us, so that was awesome. 

That's great. 

Thank you Diana. Go check her out on May 8 at the Randolph Theater.

It's called Tits and Sass. 

Just look her up online. Google Diana Love.

Oh but DianaLove.ca, DianaLove.com is porn and it's not me. 

Whoa. That is too hysterical. 

There's also an online prostitute who also goes by Diana Love, so my life is kind of ruined, not ruined, made better I guess. My online presence is really hard because it's either porn or prostitutes. 

Go to Dianalove.ca 

Or go to Dianalove.com first and have fun, and then come check it out.

Go watch some comedy. I'm Natalie Norman.

I'm Jess Beaulieu.

You can check us out on Facebook, Itunes, rate us, subscribe. You know the whole thing. 

Follow us on Twitter @thecrimsonwave. That's it I think. 

And Ovulator. 

Ovulator. 

Oh that's so cute. 

Go with the flow. Crimson Wave. Go with the flow. Crimson Wave. Go with the flow. Crimson Wave. Crimson Wave. 

Show Notes:

On this week's episode hosts Jess Beaulieu and Natalie Norman welcome the amazing comedian Diana Love. Diana talks about organic tampons, homemade pads, her "hunger pains" and what she'll teach her daughter about periods when and if she has one.

For more on Diana Love visit her website:

http://dianalovecomedy.tumblr.com

For more on The Crimson Wave:

facebook.com/thecrimsonwave

@TheCrimsonWave @msjessbeaulieu @msnatnorman