Podcast Diaries: Crimson Flow Episode 3

Why we love it:

The Crimson Wave podcast is genuinely one of our all-time favs. There's nothing better than humour to cut through deep conversations and make periods and female health accessible. What better way to learn about periods than to listen to expert comedians discuss things with incredible guests? We promise you'll laugh out loud so sit back and give it a listen... or read (hence the transcription below).

As always, if you like it and want to listen more go and find it on your favourite podcast app and show these girls some love!

Listen & Learn:

The Transcript:

Welcome to The Crimson Wave.

Yes. I'm Jess Beaulieu.

I'm Natalie Norman, and our guest is,

Is Zabrina Chevannes. So Zabrina is a lovely comedian. She's opened for people like Godfrey.

Yeah, Godfrey.

Why are you giggling?

This is a joke guys, we're not really getting anything done here. Okay.

And you're in slow comedy festival, SOL.

She's also a part of Yuk-Yuks and...

Just a good time comedian.

Has performed at many of my shows. Kills,

Always.

Yes.

I mean, yes. I've performed on your shows.

And yes she kills and yes she has an ego.

Always, always.

Huge ego.

Super conceited, the biggest jerk in comedy.

Huge asshole.

No, no. The nicest jerk in comedy.

I just wanted you to say this. I didn't want to say this before we started recording, I wanted to say it now. You know, we're all cancers.

Oh my God. Are you cancer too?

Yeah.

This is why we get along, okay.

Oh no. But I heard you don't get along with cancers.

No.

No cancers get along very well.

Not for relationships, like sex and stuff.

So what about like...

Sorry what, Natalie?

Sex and stuff.

Okay. That's what a relationship is. I wasn't sure.

But friendship relationships.

Oh, I see.

Cancers get along really well.

Oh my god, I didn't know. So that's good. Cause I always thought when my daughter got older, I wouldn't get along with her. This changes things.

Is she cancer?

Yeah.

When's her birthday?

You thought you would start hating your daughter? Oh my god. Just went "Aw, she's a cancer".

She was born in July.

And you're like, "Well, there goes that relationship".

July 9th.

Oh my God.

That's Susan's birthday.

Wait really?

What is it?

Mine's July eight. And yours is the 7th.

Oh shoot. Yeah, seven, eight, nine.

My mom is also a cancer.

And yours is the 5th.

And what's yours.

My mom and I...

Shut up, you're 5th?

I'm 3rd.

Oh, that's off.

Okay...

What?

I know [inaudible 00:02:04].

Cause we had 7th, 8th, 9th.

Oh okay, no I'm 3rd. No, that's not good.

So many cancers. So many emotional people in one room.

So many crazy emotions.

Oh yeah.

I just wanted to mention that, even though this is not the astrology podcast, even though we would love that.

It's all connected. Emotions are connected to...

Menstruation.

There we go. And, we're back on track.

So we have a few questions that we like to ask you.

Sure.

Okay. How old were you Zabrina...

When you got your period.

Do you remember?

What are you saying, I'm that old?

No I'm saying most people don't even know, I don't even know if I know how old.

I know how I know how old I was.

Of course. You would know, clearly, you know.

Well, the only reason why I know is because my daughter's pediatrician asked, when did I get my period?

Why?

Cause she started developing early. [inaudible 00:02:55] you and they ask you, when did you get your period? And I know it was in elementary school and I know it was like, okay wait, it might've been like, probably grade five, six.

So like, 11, 12.

11, 12.

Yeah.

That's not that bad.

And when did your daughter get it?

She got it right when she turned ten.

Oh, me and your daughter are one in the same.

Right? Like, her birthday was in July and she got it in August.

Holy shit.

Yeah. I know. That's a hard time.

She was almost nine when she got it. That was pretty close.

No she just turned 10.

She just turned 10 though.

I'm saying she could have been nine.

Yeah, yeah.

I've never heard of a nine year old getting their period.

But nowadays it's like,

It's common, right?

Yeah.

Why?

It's more common that kids are getting their period, I think it's the food. Because the pediatrician said a lot of children that are coming in they're developing more earlier. Because she started really early. I think she was like seven. When she started having like armpit hairs and a little bit of pubes.

Wow.

They weren't like,

I hope she never listens to this.

It wasn't like,

It's going to be like a time capsule. In ten years you're going to be like.

She's going to be upset.

One time I talked about your armpit and pubic hair on a podcast.

Did you say pubic hair, I don't remember if you said that, anyway, but hair everywhere.

Yeah like,

She's developing hair everywhere.

Yeah. But she was at that age where it could be called precocious puberty.

Oh.

What's that?

That's where kids develop. Really early before they're supposed to develop. And if that happens, then it actually stunts their growth.

Oh yeah.

Their physical growth?

Yeah, like they wouldn't get taller. And so they have to, to diagnose it early and give them hormones that stop their puberty, like to stop them from growing or whatever.

That's crazy.

I know. I know. So I had to get x-rays but she was fine.

Oh my god, this is so intense!

This is a big ordeal!

No I had to get like bone scans.

Who knew this one question would elicit such a story.

She had like breast tissue and,

Oh my God.

Yeah. Which was like, Aw, weird.

I'm sorry to bring this to me, but I'm pretty sure there's like,

Yeah sorry. Natalie, you maybe should bring everything back to you.

Well, I have to. I'm pretty sure there's like a picture of me when I was like four or five. And I have like breasts.

Oh really?

No I swear.

Did you have pubic hair though?

No, but I could've developed breasts before pubic hair.

I think the pubic hair comes before the breasts, but you don't see it, it's like light.

I think you're right, I think it does come before the breasts.

It's light.

It's light hair.

It's blonde.

It's not that [inaudible 00:05:34].

Do you remember when it started coming in?

No.

That's terrifying. Oh, I remember. It's just...

I do not remember.

It's so weird.

It's gross on a little kid. It's okay when it's yourself but when you're taking care of a little kid with like pubic hairs and stuff, if it's somebody else you're like, Oh, I don't know why. Like it's okay.

You're a mother Zabrina, it's so funny to hear you be like "I'm so disgusted by my children's...".

Like I try and I get so anxious.

[inaudible 00:06:00].

Yeah I don't know, boys are like, whatever.

Let me.

Hold old is your son though?

He's younger. Right?

Yeah. He's seven. So like I haven't,

Nothing is,

But this is my question.

This is just all shit.

Like you wipe your ass, that's it.

When you-

And they never do it properly. It's a boy thing, apparently.

Do you have to wipe his ass sometimes?

I have to wipe it all the time, cause he doesn't wipe it good enough.

Okay. Wait.

There's all these underwears. There's huge. Ah, what do you call them?

Shit stains.

No, there's a name for it.

Sharts.

Skid marks!

Oh my god.

It's so disgusting.

Wait, I have an important question. Did your son notice that your daughter was getting her period? Like did he ask questions?

No. She hiding. Like we're hiding it from him. He doesn't know yet.

He doesn't know.

No because she's like, she hides it.

She's nervous, she's insecure.

Well, she just doesn't want him to know like,

Is she ashamed?

No, it's not that she's ashamed.

It's private.

Yeah. She's like really private and she just doesn't want them to know.

And for little brothers.

[crosstalk 00:06:58]

He would fucking nag her and make fun of him.

No, I know. And then it's not even that. It's like, she doesn't want my mom to know.

Oh, your mom doesn't know.

My mom. No, everybody knows. She thinks, like she hides it. Cause you're, you're, you're a little kid and you're bleeding from your vag. Like you don't want to be like "Ah-wahh, this is happening today!"

Wait, does a lot of her friends, like when they sleep over,

We don't have any sleep overs.

Does she sleep over?

No, only cousins.

She's never had a sleepover?

They have so many cousins, like we little cousins. Like friends though, we don't do that nowadays.

Why?

All the weird stuff on the news happening, you know?

All the weird stuff on the news?

Like I need to know the parents, I'm not going to be like, one time she had an invitation to go to Barry for a sleepover.

You look insane. You look like an insane 85 year old woman right now.

You're not going to that.

Barry for a sleepover!

Like hello you're 10 years old. You better tell your friend, I don't think so. Until you can drive and you can go to Barry on your own.

[inaudible 00:08:10] sleepover.

Because you don't want to have to drive her.

Well, I don't know the parents. I don't feel comfortable sleeping at night, not knowing the family. I've seen too many like movies and news.

Oh, you are so paranoid.

I can't.

Are you like a conspiracy theorist?

You know what happened though, one time I went to the park with my daughter and I was walking a way. She was like riding her bike a little bit ahead of me. And I was walking behind her and a man stopped with his car and was just looking at her. And then when I got closer, then he went away. I'm like, that's it. You're not going anywhere alone. It freaked me out.

Do you carry her on a leash?

No. Although one time when they were small, I did purchase two leashes, but I didn't use them. I think I would hurt them, I would yank them.

This has turned from a podcast about periods to a podcast about Zabrina's children.

Zabrina's odd parenting tactics here.

I bought two leashes, but I couldn't use them.

No. I wanted to go to caravanas. I see too many kids losing their parents. I'm like, if I go, you guys are going to be on leashes. That's so ghetto.

Oh my god, I can't breath!

Let's get back on track.

Okay wait, so.

Okay. So you were 10 years old when you got it? No, you were 11, 12?

Yeah. 11, 12.

Okay. So where did it happen? Do you remember?

I remember, you know what? It was weird because I remember, I don't know was it the day before or the week before, I asked my mom when a period was. And she's like, you don't need to know. Okay.

So then when it came and you told her what happened?

Well I'm not to sure what it's going to be like, I didn't know, but then all of a sudden, I remember I had bleeding. And I went to my mom and was like, "Oh, I'm bleeding" and she was like "Okay" and she didn't really say anything like, cause I know my friend used to have parties and shit and they had their period.

They would have parties?

I have never heard of period parties.

I thought other girls, no, I don't know what it is.

The gift bags were just like tampons and like,

You know what I'm thinking? I'm of like Quinceañeras or something like that, and I though that's what it was.

Quinceañeras?

Quinceañera's when it's a 15 year old Mexican girls coming of age party.

Oh okay, like a bar mitzvah.

Yeah see I mixed it up, but I was a kid. I was like 11. I thought they had their period and they had parties and stuff.

Okay. So when-

So I told my mom, and she didn't really [inaudible 00:10:41].

Did she give you a tampon or pad?

I'm old, she gave me a safety pad.

I used one of those.

What's that?

There was no sticker on the bottom of it.

What?

It was the ones that have the extended cloth and you're supposed to pin it to your underwear.

The belt, you pin it.

But my mom has showed me how to use it.

So what did you do?

I just put it on and I'd go to school and [inaudible 00:11:02] like "Hey!".

It was just falling down your pants?

It would just constantly run all-

It would rotate and move around and adjust.

Yeah cause it's thick.

They're huge.

A thick, thick pad.

Did it have wings?

It had a long like extension thingies. Like cloth.

No wings.

No, there's no wings no. It wasn't even sticky.

They weren't re-usable.

Oh no. These weren't really reusable.

You had to wash them in the,

No, they're not.

Yeah. These are just like old school. I don't know where she got them from, but she didn't,

What do you mean they're not, oh they're not reusable.

They're not reusable.

They're disposable.

My God for a minute I admit I was like you washed your pads in the washing machine.

So wait you have one sister?

Yeah. I have a sister.

So like, did you guys ever talk about it? Do you ever bond over having your periods together?

Well, she's autistic. I don't remember when she started her period. I didn't know. Cause when I was younger,

She's younger or older than you? She's older?

She's older, but when we were younger she had to go to a home.

Okay.

So it was all right, because we were all becoming autistic [inaudible 00:12:04] doctor. Cause she couldn't talk. She was our older sister. Right?

And you mimic her.

Yeah. We mimicked her so we all didn't talk. Like I remember when she was there, I remember our childhood, like a silent movie, like we'd be playing and there'd be no words.

That's so weird. It's like she influenced you.

I know like I'd be thinking like why would we ever talk? Like we did stuff. Like I remember one time our aunt was watching us and we all decided to run away. There was no words. We all decided to run away. We gathered our toys, and then we grabbed our sister. We didn't see anything. We knew when he was going to run into the forest.

You all decided to run away without saying anything?

All four of you?

Yeah!

You didn't make a plan, you didn't say like, we're going to run away now.

No we didn't talk.

You just made eye contact and were like me, you.

We grabbed our toys, cause that was important back then and we grabbed our sister and she was screaming. That's why we didn't run away.

Oh, [inaudible 00:13:01].

But I thought it was her plan to run away.

She's autistic she doesn't know what's going on. I mean me and my two brothers, we wanted to run away because our aunt was being mean. Because my mom had messed up babysitters and then there was one that wouldn't feed us. So we all, I don't know how we did it, we all planned to go on top of the stove. We climbed on each other to go on top of the stove and the macaroni and cheese. But I never remember any words.

This is crazy.

I haven't laughed this hard in so long, I'm crying.

I feel like your life was the twilight zone.

It is, it's weird.

Have you heard the stories with her ex husband and stuff?

Wait no, this is not the time to go into it.

This podcast is going to last for hours.

Back up, okay. So what was your experience like? Oh, you already talked about that. Did you use a tampon? Oh no. You already talked about that. About your mom.

You already hit all these questions.

Do you get PMS?

Hold on, before that. What was your dad's reaction?

Yeah your Dad's a character.

Zabrina has the funniest father and then the impression of her father is just. Did he say anything in reaction [crosstalk 00:14:13].

Are you crying too?

We're all crying.

No, my dad, no like it's different in a Caribbean family because periods is like a taboo thing. You just don't talk about it.

Is it?

Yeah.

That's horrible.

Yeah. It's like it's a third world country. So they just think it's dirty. Don't want to talk about it. Like girls, you don't talk about sex. You don't even get the sex talk. I never got no sex talk. My brother's got a sex talk.

Really?

But I didn't get one.

That pisses me off!

Yeah I know. My mom used to tell me "Boys are the devil". That's what she used to tell me.

And wait, did your brothers tell you about sex and all that stuff.

No. My brothers didn't tell me nothing. I couldn't talk about sex. Like we wouldn't talk about it as a family. Because whenever, even when we used to watch movies with my parents and if a love scene came on, they would go nuts. They look at me like, "No [inaudible 00:15:03], just smile, you want to go make out with men, huh? You want to have a baby? You want to have a baby, that's why you laugh at these people that have sex and do all this dirty things".

And I'm like, "Oh my God, I don't really care".

Wait. So when was the first time you talked openly about your period?

Oh, well, one time I needed pads and I told him, I said, "Dad, I need money". He's like "What do you need the money for?". I'm like "Okay fine, I need pads". He's like "I don't want to hear, [inaudible 00:15:36], go tell your mother, I don't know why you're telling me this kind of thing". I'm like, Oh my God. I'm like "You asked!". He doesn't want to hear it.

He doesn't want to hear it.

Mm-mm (negative).

Okay. Sorry. So, Nat you want to, what's your...

Okay this is my favorite question to ask and it's so absurd, but do you leak?

I wear tampons.

So you don't leak.

Well, I'm really good at changing them.

Okay.

See that's the key! You got to be on top of it.

Oh yeah, well pads, ugh. I hate when you're sitting and then you uh-huh it's like whoosh. You know how gross that it? When you cough? You know when you sit and it's like a plug and you get it up and it's like Oh my gosh, it's everywhere.

And if you sneeze.

My daughter, you know, what's interesting. My daughter's really good at not leaking. But because I'm so anxious. I think I'm just an anxious person. So when she was on her period, the first time she was on her period, I stayed home for the whole time she was on her period.

Really?

Yeah, because she needs to know how to deal with it. Like, you know,

That's amazing!

Like the first time I said, you know, it's not a bad thing. Because she has a crazy grandmother, not my mom, but her other grandmother is a crazy Jamaican lady. You know just hyper, hyper, hyper lady. And just made her feel bad that she started her period,

That's horrible.

Which is hard.

[inaudible 00:17:00] this, right?

She was just like, "I can't believe it, you [inaudible 00:17:03] say now, she can have a baby, how long?", she's just freaking out. I'm like, Oh my God, you know what all it means is that you're a big girl now. And we've got to do big girl phase, meaning we've got to go shopping and eating lots of junk food. So we just went to the mall and ate all this junk food. And we went shopping and we got our nails done. And then I showed her how to change the pad.

You're the best mom!

Like I can't believe you stayed home for a week.

Yeah man, but when she was changing the path, like I'm just anxious, I'm like don't touch the [inaudible 00:17:38]. She's like "Ah!", I'm like "Roll it up, roll it up, make sure you cover it up".

So you were in there with her.

She was like "Mom you know it". And I'm like clean it and like showing her how to clean out her vag. Because before that they don't really have that much of awareness of a vag. You just wipe it a couple of times, right. For the periods though, I'm just like spraying it like come on, clean it out! And all these little clots are coming out.

Oh, little clots!

If you could see the gesture that Zabrina just made.

It was so cute.

It was like finger puppets. She was like "little clots" and they're like little finger puppets.

Because I'm like, "Open your legs!" and all the clots are coming and I'm like "bye!" and she's like 'Mommy stop doing that".

You said bye to them!

You said bye to the clots.

Byeee.

Bye clots!

Say bye your friends.

Oh my god.

So she doesn't leak?

She's pretty good. Like I don't see, you know, sometimes you see like the, I used to leak as a kid, man. I had one time I was in school. I don't know how this happened. And I walked all the way home because that super pad, never saved. And all my white tee shirts, I had a day I pulled out all my,

All of your tshirts?

Blood all over. But it was like a big, huge, and I got home. I'm like, wow, I wonder if anybody saw. A big, huge red mark. My mom wasn't really involved in the period,

They probably thought you were being attacked. They were like, did someone hurt you? You have a huge red mark on your back.

My mom never, he just gave me those safety pads and I just had to figure it out.

So wait, let me get this straight.

This is so funny.

So you had a white shirt tucked into your pants?

Yeah.

And you get home, would it leak through your pants too?

I don't know what happened. I had the tuck and it was hot that day and I was walking home and as I left the school, I pulled it out and I had it out. But when I got home I'm like, Oh my God, the hugest red mark, like somebody's driving miles away would have seen my shirt was red. Like it was bad.

Did you just throw that out?

I don't know what I did with it. I don't remember that far. I just remember like, Oh my God, that's it.

That's not cool.

That happened in elementary school.

That's nuts.

Yeah. But the first time I ever used a tampon, I was in university.

What was that like?

Well, I had to go swimming.

Oh yeah [crosstalk 00:19:57].

So weren't you a professional swimmer?

No no, I used to run track, but the team you were going to go swimming, like for a workout. And like, I didn't want to skip because I was on my period.

How old were you?

I was probably like when I first used it like 19 / 20 and I was a virgin then too. So I never had sex before.

You were late, look at all of us, hey.

Yeah, I know. So using it, I'm trying to put the tampon and I'm like, this must be [crosstalk 00:20:25] Oh my god!

Did you hurt yourself?

It felt weird. I didn't hurt myself, but it just felt weird.

Well, I had all that extra hymen in my vagina.

Oh, have you heard that story?

Yeah. Yeah.

How I had to have my hymen surgically removed. Yeah, so I fucking put in the tampon, it was just like a brick wall, you know? Actually, no, sorry. It was like half of a brick wall because there was like an opening, a very small opening. So one time I got it in when I was like 19 too, I got it in and then I couldn't fucking get it out. Because it had like twisted around all the extra hymen. So I was like yanking it out and it couldn't get out.

So then what did you do?

I literally was, Oh God, this is so graphic.

That's okay. Keep on going.

I'm like nervous. [crosstalk 00:21:11].

I'm like digging inside with my fingers. I like somehow managed to like move shit around in there and get it out. But I was in there for like an hour in the bathroom.

I would have cried.

Yeah [crosstalk 00:21:19].

I was having a mental breakdown.

Lucky you didn't go to the hospital.

No, I was close to it. If I hadn't gone out in the next like 10 minutes, I was going to like call 911 and be like, I'm dying.

That would have been a good story.

It would.

Also, it was in way too long and had been in like ten hours.

PMS, do you get PMS?

Everybody does.

Right. And I don't think I do.

Really?

I don't know.

Some people think they don't [inaudible 00:21:44]. What are your symptoms?

You know what, I don't even know if that even exists.

That's what I'm saying, I don't know either.

I know guys, my brother, who would snap like, are so sensitive and really emotional.

Yeah.

Well the only thing I know is like menopause, like hot flashes.

Yeah. Those exist.

Well you're not going through menopause.

No but I get really hot. But I think it's because you know,

I think you just get hot.

Yeah, Zabrina, you're not going through menopause!

I sweat a lot, it's because I, the extra weight I think, but ugh.

Okay. This is a good one. Do you and your daughter sync up?

Oh yeah.

Do you get your periods at like the same time?

No.

No? Okay.

I'm before her.

Like a week before or something?

A couple of weeks before, that's how I know that she's going to get her periods soon so I prepare.

What do you mean you prepare?

I don't want any leak stains anywhere. So I just prepare, make sure she has the pads. Make sure she's checking. You know, she has them in her school bag. Like the last time though, when she started her period, I wanted her to be excited about her period, this was stupid though. I realize.

No that's so nice.

But this is stupid though, I realize. Because I was preparing, I don't know if I was excited, but you know, I wanted her to be happy while she was on her period. I don't want her to think of it as a negative thing like my parents. So I went to some Vegas store and I bought her Fanny pack, with like a G, it was all blinged out like a [inaudible 00:23:08].

Poor girl.

She was supposed to put her pads in it when she went to school and she's like, "Mommy, I can't wear this to school". I put my pads in my pocket so nobody would see.

Oh shit.

She threw it away. It was so cute. But then you think you think about it in school? Like, ah, no.

Not if she wears it all the time.

It's amazing that you're so period positive and open about it.

Yeah you really, really are like,

Considering also you grew up in this family, that kind of thinks it's, you know, dirty and kinda gross.

It made me feel bad as a kid. So, I don't want to,

That's what I'm saying, that's amazing. You're the best mother ever.

I have not heard of things like this.

No never.

Like my experience was more close to your own experience.

Yeah I think every time somebody has a kid, they think, Oh, I'm not going to do with my parents did. And they're like a step better because my mom's mom, she's off the chain.

So did you ever talk to your mom?

Your grandma, you mean?

Yeah, my grandma.

Do you ever talk to her mom about when she got her period?

Well, my mom was raised by her grandmother. I never really asked. We never really talked about her period. We don't talk like.

Right. Okay.

Like sex stuff, period, we don't really talk, like I never talked as a kid. Like she would just snap at me. Like, "Boys are the devil, don't touch them, but if you ever come in here with a baby". That would be like sex talk, period talk, every talk.

Wow.

Wow.

So I don't really go back and be like, Whoa, when you had your period, how did it feel? I don't ask about her sex life. None of that. I don't know that part.

You don't ask about your mom's sex life? Doesn't everyone?

Ew.

But it's like who does? No one does.

Even the joke though, I know it's sarcastic but like even the thought of asking my mom about her sex life.

But there are those people who are close to their parents like that.

No, ew. I know, and they're weird.

And get sex advice.

They're weirdos.

They're not weirdos. It's just different.

I just can't. They're weirdos in my eyes, when my mom found out I lost my virginity at 21 she cried, hysterically.

Really?

Yeah. And she was like "I can't believe it, already". And I was like, already! I'm 21, what are you talking about already.

I didn't even tell my mom. I didn't tell her when I was pregnant with Leah.

I had to tell her, [crosstalk 00:25:18].

She thought I was a virgin when I was pregnant. She was like "Are you pregnant?", I'm like, no. And I was like, clearly showing.

That's amazing.

And then I admit it, I'm like fine, I'm pregnant. I was living at their house at the time. I didn't get married yet. I just really wanted to have a baby.

Really?

Yeah. Because I had this dream.

What dream? I know this doesn't really relate, but I want to hear this story.

What was this dream?

Before I had Leah, I had a dream that I was holding this baby and I looked into the baby's eyes and it was like the most beautiful feeling. Like I loved somebody so much and I woke up and I really wanted to have that baby.

Wow.

So I had the baby.

So you were like, that night, you just went, hopped on a dick and you're like, here we go.

I was with my ex long before.

Oh. So you decided together.

And then I had that dream that I was going to have. It was weird because me and my brother went to a Chinese restaurant and yeah, we both got a fortune cookie. My fortune cookie said I was going to be happy out of wedlock.

Really?

His fortune cookie said he was going to die in two weeks. We took pictures of it, I don't know if I have them.

Those are the craziest fortune cookies! Who wrote those fortune cookies.

Yours is so specific, you're going to be happy out of wedlock and the other one, you're going to die in two weeks?

I know! And I said like oh my God, but I think, if you were working, making fortune cookies, I would totally slip some of those through. It would be hilarious.

That's insane.

You have cancer [inaudible 00:26:59]. Check it out, you should check it out, because you think you have cancer.

That's horrible.

Okay. So your daughter, she has her period.

Yeah, she's on her hair at home, but she's good with wrapping those pads. Beause the worst thing, when you go to the bathroom, you see this pad open up all like used.

I get in trouble to this day.

My sister used to give me shit but the worst part is when my dog, Freckles would go into the garbage.

Yeah. And get a tampon out.

And I didn't wrap the pad aggressively with like toilet paper, I just, you know, wrapped it once and threw it in, she would rip it apart and there would be like pads all over the house! And I would get in so much shit and my sister would be like "I told you to fucking wrap that thing more than once".

I get into trouble to this day being like, you didn't put your tampons away properly. And I was like, I don't get it. I just can't get it.

What do you mean, your clean ones?

No, my dirty ones.

No you just flush them down the toilet.

You flush them down the toilet?

Not the applicator.

Oh yeah.

You cannot put the applicator,

What are you doing with the applicators? You put them in the garbage.

Yeah but we have an open garbage bin. So my mom, the rule is you'd have to take the wrapper, put it in the wrapper and then put the applicator with the wrapper on, in the garbage.

Oh yeah. It's hard to live with people, huh?

Yeah.

That's why I moved out of my parents' house. But now they're living with me, but it's different.

Yeah. Because you're their landlord.

Yeah. Because I pay the mortgage so they can't,

Your mom can't be like what's with this dirty tampon, you'd be like get the fuck out of my house.

The other day she was like telling me to clean up my room like excuse me? I know you're not talking to the [inaudible 00:28:32]. My kids are so bad they're like "Yeah, mommy, and they drank all your juice!" And I'm like, if you have anything to say to me, you write a letter, put it in my office.

Where's your office, do you have an office?

It's in my bedroom. So my daughter, right? She was in grade four last year. And it was weird because already they're teaching them stuff about sex ed. I think it's too early. I wasn't prepared. Like she's coming home with questions about stuff. And like a while back, she asked me about a period. And so I just told her the truth, like you're going to bleed once a month, she was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to bleed to death, why did you tell me this?" Like freaking out. I'm like, Oh my gosh, she's not ready for this. So I spoke to her, I used to speak to her when she was small. I told her a story. I'm like, no, no, no. Let me tell you the story about the period. As the days go on, your body fills up with so much stuff.

And then at the end of the month, everything comes out. She's like, what comes out mommy? And I wanted to tell her the truth, but I just wanted her to be happy, I'm like butterflies and fairies. She started skipping away and shit. Yeah. It's a case. The worst thing to lie to your kids. When you look at them with their innocent eyes, cause one day she'll probably be in the bathroom looking down like, "Oh my God, I thought you told me there were butterflies and fairies". And be like, you killed them all. What did you do? You're not supposed to keep moving that long, let's go bury one in the backyard. I love that part.

I love that part. I told my mom that and she died.

Bury a clot in the backyard.

People stop laughing and they're just like, no, you went too far. This is all.

Thank you so much Zabrina for being here.

Wait do you have a Twitter page?

Oh yes. Let's do that.

Zabrina, Z-A-B-R-I-N-A 75.

75.

That's me.

Do you have a website or anything?

No.

Oh [inaudible 00:30:34] Zabrina.

I know, I want to get one.

How are your fans, Natalie and I supposed to track you?

Follow me on Twitter.

There we go.

Or add her on Facebook!

You can add her on Facebook. You can hire her through Yak-Yaks.

Sure.

You know, you just go to Yak-Yaks and just say, we want Zabrina, all that stuff.

That's what I do. I call them every week. And I'm just like, get me Zabrina!

Get me Zabrina.

And you're off to do a recording now and we appreciate you coming before your recording.

She's going to do a recording at the comedy bar, going to be fun.

And we like to end our period with a positive note.

Yes.

Our periods, sorry, our podcast.

Our period, began all of our periods.

And we like to say, thank you for listening.

Thank you.

Follow us on Twitter.

Yes, we don't have Twitter yet, but we will. Tumblr.

On Facebook it's the,

Facebook, the Crimson wave. Crimson wave podcast, The Crimson wave podcast [inaudible 00:31:29] .

Remember to share, listen, share, download it, do it all. And.

Go with the flow.

 

Show Notes:

On this episode hosts Jess Beaulieu and Natalie Norman welcome hilarious Toronto comedian and mom of the year Zabrina Chevannes. They discuss getting a period in the 80s, coaching your daughter through menstruation, and so much more. Please enjoy and remember to subscribe, recommend us and like us on iTunes and Facebook.

@TheCrimsonWave @zabrina75 @msjessbeaulieu @msnatnorman

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