Podcast Diaries: Crimson Flow Episode 1

Why we love it:

The Crimson Wave podcast is genuinely one of our all-time favs. There's nothing better than humour to cut through deep conversations and make periods and female health accessible. What better way to learn about periods than to listen to expert comedians discuss things with incredible guests? We promise you'll laugh out loud so sit back and give it a listen... or read (hence the transcription below).

As always, if you like it and want to listen more go and find it on your favourite podcast app and show these girls some love!

Listen & Learn:

The Transcript:

Go with the flow (music).

(singing).

Welcome to the inaugural episode of the Crimson Wave. A podcast featuring your host, Natalie Norman, Jess [Bullue inaudible 00:00:26].

Hi!

And our guests today, Aisha Alfa.

Hi!

I think we should explain what this podcast is about.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Let's explain. It's about periods.

Yeah. Feminism and periods.

Feminist periods specifically.

I, Natalie and Jess love talking about our period all the time.

Yeah?

I talk about it all the time.

And even my guests to come and tell us about their period experiences. Men, women, and everyone in between.

Different races, sexualities, ages, religions, doesn't matter.

Yeah. Everyone who has a period could come or has had an experience with a period.

That's right. Periods are an important part of everyone's life.

You guys should have a dog on at some point.

Oh my God!

That would be great.

We should.

I have three dogs. Two of them are female. My mum didn't neuter them because she felt it was bad for their soul. It would ruin them. So they have their periods.

Like every month?

Well, dogs are different. So they have them every six months.

Do their periods sync up?

No.

Do you sync up with their periods?

Of course, of course. I'm like, Pixie's!

So what do you do? How do you-

They wear diapers.

Really?

It's really disgusting.

I don't think I've ever seen a dog have a period.

Oh!

Because you don't take them out of the house when they have their period. You're not like, let's go! Let's parade it.

But why not? Hey, we should not be ashamed.

That's right [crosstalk 00:01:46].

She gets very moody. It's very-

She gets PMS.

She gets very snappy.

Well, yeah, it'd be snappy too.

Yeah. So-

Once every six months has got to be a bad period.

They're really bad.

Yeah.

Geez.

Imagine if it just all built up for six months at a time.

Oy vey.

Real Crimson Wave, if you know what I mean!

Crimson Thunderstorm! Typhoon! Crimson Typhoon!

Now that she's older, we actually think she's gone into menopause.

How old is she?

She's like 15.

Oh, okay.

She's an old lady.

There's no escaping it though, right? Because when you get it, you're like, oh, I have my period. Then it stops and you're like, oh, I don't have my periods anymore-

Yeah, I don't want it to leave ever. Ever. I love it. I love it. No, seriously. It shows how your body's working properly. So wait, anyways, our lovely guest today is Aisha.

Hi!

Alfa.

That's me.

Aisha Alfa. She's an awesome comedian.

Thank you.

Stand up comedian and an actor and a writer, I guess as well.

Yeah, I'm trying to be more of a writer.

Trying to be more of a writer, cool.

Yeah. I just came back from Winnipeg not long ago, where I did a show with Ben Boschman, Dave [inaudible 00:03:00] and Garrett Jameson and the local comedian Shantelle Marasaca. That was sold out. It was such a good show.

Awesome.

Thank you.

And you're from Winnipeg?

From Winnipeg, yeah. So that was our coming home for the holidays. And very exciting, I was just on the Struggle Panel.

You were?

Yeah, on Thursday.

That's awesome. I haven't shown her the questions beforehand, so it's-

So it's all new, fresh.

It's all fresh, and it's exciting. And then she's going to tell us a lovely experience story. And then me and Jess are going to probe her. Literally and figuratively. About that story.

So we will be the speculum in this scenario.

So, Aisha. How old were you when you got your period? Do you remember?

I was 13, I think. Either 12 or 13.

So it's pretty average.

That's a good age.

Yeah, I think so.

That's a good age.

No, it's a good age! It's like you're-

It's not too old and it's not too young.

I was worried because I was a gymnast for the first half of my life, growing up sort of thing.

Oh, cool.

So I was worried I wasn't going to get it until late because a lot of gymnast's... Their puberty... Puberty doesn't hit until later. And I think I dipped out right at the right time, and then my body was like, oh my God. Get this out of us. But I was terrified. I know that you learn about periods in school, but it was like from Humpty Dumpty characters and they never show blood or anything. And then on the commercials, it's all blue liquid. And all of a sudden, one day I just had period. And I was... I started crying. I was mortified and ashamed.

Where were you?

I was in my bathroom at home.

Okay.

It was just in your bathroom.

It was probably the best way it could possibly come. And I was just so scared and my mom had been... they give the samples that they leave in your mailbox and stuff? They used to do it a lot more. So she would always just tuck them into the drawer in the bathroom.

All the samples.

So I didn't tell her for two days. I just used the samples.

A pad or a tampon?

A pad. Because I was terrified. I could not put anything in. So, and yeah. Then finally, I told her and I just started bawling and she was like, it's okay. I'm like, "Aah!" I felt like I had done something wrong.

There's a lot of shame, yeah.

Yeah, there was a stigma. Because even though they talk about it in school, it's not welcomed with open arms. It's kind of shushed about like all of sex in school is shushed about, really.

It's ridiculous.

But it should be more open and we should be talking about it all the time.

Yeah.

And how it's such a beautiful thing.

Well, it means you can make life.

That was the best ad for sex. Sex paid you to-

Yeah, yeah.

I was talking about my period!

I was thinking sex ed. I was like, yeah, sex is the best.

It's all good, though. Period, sex, sex on your period. We'll get to that later.

That's the best.

The only reason it's good to have a period, I think.

Well, I have a good question to ask you [crosstalk 00:05:45]. We're not going to ask all. We have a big list, but we're going to ask this.

But we got through a lot of them there [crosstalk 00:05:53].

But this is a good one. Did you tell your dad, and how did he react?

I did not tell my dad when I got my period, but I remember so distinctly, because my parents worked a lot, right? So my dad was away a lot and I would often go to my mom for a lot of stuff and my dad... I think at times when we were younger, he sort of had, not jealousy, but he was like, how come my kids don't come to me? And he was just not there. And my mom wasn't there, but she was there more often. But I remember when I went to my first sleep over at my girlfriend's house and I got my period. And so I called the house and I needed to get someone to drop pads off because I was too ashamed even to ask my girlfriends.

So I called. My dad picks up the phone and I was like, "Hi dad, can I talk to mom?" And he's like, "Why do you need to talk to your mother?" Like," I just need to talk to mom, okay?" And he's like, "Well, why can't you just talk to me?" And then it was so... Because you think about it, and this poor guy's trying to be like, I can be there for you too, right? But I was so embarrassed and I was getting mad and I'm like, "I just don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to mom. Can I just talk to mom please?" And he's like, "No, whatever you talk to your mom about, you can talk to me about". So we have this argument and finally I'm like, "Okay dad, can you bring me some pads because I got my period", and he's just like, "I'll go get your mother".

Because my dad grew up in Nigeria with all brothers. So he had never experienced things like that. I have an older brother. So I'm this little... I'm sure when I was a baby, he was like, I don't know. Can I hold her? Can I touch her? Can I give her a bath?

That's so funny.

So my dad obviously knew I got my period at that point, but we never talked about it.

Was that still in the first year of your period?

Yeah, that was probably when I was 13, 14. Somewhere in the first year, basically.

I honestly think my dad doesn't know I have my period.

How is that possible?

I swear. He's just so oblivious. There's four girls in my family, but I've never spoken to him about my period. I've never asked him to bring me pads or tampons and nor would he. He would for sure go and buy me... If you were to go into Shoppers, he'd buy me Depends for sure. And he would just be so confused by all of it.

Guys are so... And I don't blame them because especially the older generation, who... People didn't even talk about periods to their girlfriends. So why would some 56 year old man know anything about it or be interested in knowing anything about it?

Oh my God, my father, I cannot imagine if I ever had a conversation with him. He's the most reserved, quiet, awkward man on the planet. I barely talk to him as it is, and if I ever brought it up, oh, boy.

This might relate to your story, I don't know. But have you ever leaked?

Oh.

You don't even understand. I swear I should not have been born a female because of many reasons, but one of them is I always forget I have my period.

Oh, amen sister.

Literally every time I get it, every month, I have period pants at very least one time. At very least. I wash my clothes. Sometimes I have period pants three times in one day. I'll wake up morning, I'll have a shower. I'll forget I have my period, so I won't do anything. I won't put anything in. Then I'll just leave the house and I'll forget to bring anything with me. So I'll be out of the house and then all of a sudden I'll have massive period. I'm like, Oh fuck. I forgot I have my period. So I'll go and buy stuff, put it in, and then go to the bathroom, take it out. How do you forget you have your period while you're sitting on the toilet?

You get distracted! But you know what's really funny about that? Is last we were at a show.... We were literally at a show two weeks ago or a week ago, and I'm walking through the show. It's in a living room, so it's very casual and I know everyone there. And I'm holding my tampon, like, I got my period everybody! And Aisha turns to me and she's like, can I have one of those? We forgot tampons!

Totally forgot tampons. I was going to a show once at Kitsch, I was walking there and it was cold and I was running, and mid run, full-on, big-time crimson wave period pants all through my pants. I'm like, Oh fuck. I forgot I have my period. So I didn't get to the show because I had to run home and now I'm like an hour late.

That is so funny. I always forget when I get out of the shower. Do you forget that?

Yes.

Because you fucking... You get out, there's no underwear, you're bleeding all over the bathroom. And I come in here and I'm hanging out for a while. I'm like, oh my god, my period! I've bled all over the towels.

I'm going to be honest with you. It's not that I forget, it's more so than I just am that lazy. I'm like, I have to get another tampon? No! Like, I have to take a tampon to the bathroom? And then I also do this thing-

It's annoying.

I do this thing where halfway through my period, it'll be two days and it's pretty much done, right? It's like-

And then you're like, whatever, I'm not bleeding in this very moment.

Yeah. And then I'll just not wear anything. And then I'll be like, ah, fuck another pair of underwear goes down the toilet [crosstalk 00:10:32].

I'm the best at getting blood out of everything now.

Are you?

Yeah. I know how to get blood out of everything.

So what's the trick?

The trick is, first of all, you rinse it off underwater so it gets any of the blood out. Cold water. You know what? I found out you can use hot too as long as you do it immediately because it just has to... You just have to put water in to get the residual blood off. And then you pour copious amounts of salt.

Really?

Salt on blood while it's wet from the water, and you leave it. And then you rinse off the salt. And if it's still on there, pour more salt on it and put soda water on top of the salt. Literally, this gets out blood and wine. Red wine. Interestingly enough. So if you have a really crazy day where you spill wine and you get blood on you-

Sometimes I don't know if it's wine or blood [crosstalk 00:11:18] or hot sauce. I'm like, which of the three? I have no idea.

I's a mystery.

It's a mystery, frequently.

I hope you don't taste it [crosstalk 00:11:30].

Well, frequently when I bring... This is another problem of mine, is men. When I bring them home-

To fuck!

So I bring them into my bed and my sheets are stained with mystery stains. I don't know which one it is.

Literally I slept over... a few weeks ago there was an ice storm and I slept over and she's like, I don't give a shit. I'm just going to let you know, I don't know what those stains are.

Yeah.

We're all friends. We've all got those days.

Big, red stains. And I just... It could be anything.

It's a mystery. Mysteries stain [crosstalk 00:12:05]. That could be another whole podcast. Mystery Stain-

Yeah, Mystery Stains!

That's what this is!

Yeah. That's hilarious. Okay. Here. Okay, sex on period. So we talked about quickly earlier. Do you like it? You're pro?

I love. I'm very much pro, pro, pro. A hundred percent. Sex on the period. And the thing is, too, right before I get my period, I get insatiably horny.

I think everyone does.

Right? And then when I have my period, it's that carry on. I'm like, oh, I was insatiably horny. Now, I'm insatiably horny leftovers and lube. Self lube. The most lube possible. And I just... Something about blood is sexy to me. I know.

I love it.

I am all about it. I'm like, let's have it.

You know what? I think what's sexy is a guy who doesn't give a shit if you have your period.

Oh, absolutely.

Yes.

Have you ever had a guy go down on you when you had a tampon in?

No.

No.

Oh my God. I've had a guy go down on me when I've had my period, no tampon in and with a tampon in.

How was it?

Oh, fuck. Do you know how fucking hot it is? Are you kidding me? This was one of my exes, right? And it was like a long distance thing. He came into town. I was like, fuck I have my period. And so we were like, okay. And then, he knew I had my period and then he started going down on me and I was like, "Oh, I have my period". He was like, "Uh-huh", and he just kept going. I'm like, "But I have a tampon", and he's like, "Uh-huh". And I was like, "Oh, fuck!" I'm like, "Let's wet this bed!"

It was the hottest fucking thing ever. It was so... Well, we're not together anymore.

Fuck that guy.

But it was really sexy. And even... let's not name names, but my current...

Lover.

Yeah. He's totally in tune with period time and he's all about it. He's like, let's do it. Like put a towel down, let's go.

That's hot. Because what it says to you is, we need to talk about that more. Because it's not embarrassing. And I think Ia guy that's fine with it understands that. And for guys, to me, the biggest turnoff is obviously a guy who's like, "No, I'm not touching you. That's disgusting". That piece of like, "It's disgusting". If someone just goes, you know what? I'm not into it or it doesn't turn me on, I'm like, okay, fair, right?

But if someone's like, that's gross that you would even want to do that, I'm like, you're gross. How about that? How about don't ever touch me then?

Your penis is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

Exactly. You want to wave that in my face?

You want to come on my chest, but you won't put your penis in a vagina that's bleeding?

Come is disgusting. If I have to deal with come on a regular basis, you have to deal with periods once a month, approximately.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

This is great.

Not to say... that's a bit rude. Penises are wonderful, just as vaginas are. But-

But yeah.

Come on, man.

They all have their imperfections and their perfections.

The imperfections, sometimes that's what gives it character.

Exactly.

Oh, for sure.

Do you get PMS? Let's talk about that. Is this a myth? Co you experience it?

I don't know if it's a myth or not. I think everyone's body works differently.

Yeah.

I don't know if I get PMS as in the week before I'm always blank. I think I'm always horny, but I think it's because that's when your body... if you're ready to have a baby, your body's like, let's do this. But I think as far as... I think sometimes I can track it back to, I'll be a little bit more depressed or emotional.

Oh, I'm feeling that a lot lately.

But it's not even every single time. So I think that it's... I have an excess of hormones and that can manifest in a lot of ways. It can be that I'm excited and happy. It can mean that everything's... I'm manic, basically. I can be manic. I can be depressed. I can be bitchy. I can want to eat ice cream. You know what I mean? But it's just, I don't know if I would call that PMS or just hormones. Because PMS, the connotation is so-

Negative.

Negative?

Totally. And it's used as a weapon against women frequently.

Oh, for sure.

Oh, yeah.

Uncoordinated.

That's what I was trying to say. I know when my period's coming because I'm a very coordinated... Hand, eye coordination. I've got really good hand eye coordination. And then I'll drop my phone three times in a day.

I'm like, Oh my period's coming. I know-

That's so funny!

Yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking about, is, I remember once I was like, I know I'm going to get my period because I went into my car and I went to start the car and I threw the car keys out onto the floor. And I was like, what? How did that just... And then I started to cry and I was like, Oh, okay, I see. I know exactly what's happening in a few days.

Yeah.

It's easier sometimes to piece it together after the fact, I think, though, because in the moment, it's just like anything. When you're in the moment you don't think, Oh, I'm just PMSing, let me just calm down. You're just like, why is my life so awful right now?

Yeah, you don't know.

So yeah. But yeah, I think that I get a surge of hormones, I think, is what happens. And it manifests in many different ways.

I like that. That's a good perspective on it.

Me too.

Okay. This is really specific [crosstalk 00:16:57] Do you have a favorite scene from a movie or a TV show or a book that you can think that involves a period that you remember? I don't know. This is a very specific question.

I know one.

I have one.

I remember from my childhood, seeing scenes of periods and it really affecting me.

I haven't actually seen this film. It's a friend of mine, in Winnipeg they made a short film. And they've just told me about it, and it's the best, because it's one of my girlfriends who's... She's an ex dancer, like ballet dancer. And just stunningly beautiful and her body moves in the most grateful... Everything about her is just perfection.

Right? She should be an ad person for Chanel or something like that. She's amazing. So she wrote this short film. Her name's Natalia Longly. Also an amazing dentist in Winnipeg, if anyone's looking for one. She's so [inaudible 00:17:54]. So she wrote a short film, and the premise of it was, she's at a gym and there's this hot guy, and the whole thing is just them sort of eye flirting and whatever. And then he looks at her and he just is disgusted and walks away. And then in that it pulls out and you notice she has her period and it's running down her leg. And I thought that was so hilarious because the amount of... I don't know, for me, there's been times where, you think, did I just get my period?

And then you're sort of... it's preoccupying your mind. So you're just like, oh my God, and you have to walk with like your ass to the wall to get to the bathroom and there's nothing, it's just a bit juicer down there.

Yeah, it's a bit juicier.

Yeah. And I'm like, how many times does that happen to women though? I think when you feel sexy and you're probably feeling sexy because your body's wanting to make a baby, right? And then someone's looking at you weird and you've got period pants. How embarrassing would that be? But at the same time, that's when you kind of feel your sexiest? I don't know.

I love this. I love this quote. That's when you feel your sexiest.

Yeah.

It's true though. For me, my breasts get a little rounder.

Oh yeah, your breasts enlarge.

That's me being sexy.

Those are the moments in your life, though, where you're like, I am just an animal, who is a victim to biology. You can't do anything about it. These are those moments. And I currently don't want children. That's for sure. But who knows in my future life? I probably don't really plan on it, but your body wants to make babies and you can't fucking control that and it's horrible either way [crosstalk 00:19:35].

The face that you just made was amazing. Just so disgusted by [crosstalk 00:19:41].

My uterus is like, "Make babies now!" And my head is like, "No, no, no!"

It's that conflict. I sometimes play this fringe play in Winnipeg and one of the lines was great. The woman playing the role was, she was playing the role of a woman who was very Catholic, so no birth control, right? and she said her advice from her mom was, when you want it the most, don't do it.

And I was like, that's so true because when you want it, the most is when your body's like, "We are ready to make a baby!" [crosstalk 00:20:07].

That also sucks because then she would never be satisfied.

That's true.

She has to learn how to be satisfied when she doesn't want it. That sounds awful, right? That sounds horrible [crosstalk 00:20:18].

Okay. Are we ready?

We're ready for your story.

Oh, boy.

Do you want a title? Do you want to title your story?

The Day I Thought I was Dying.

Whoa.

Wow [crosstalk 00:20:29]. I can relate to it.

It's kind of funny now, but literally at the time I was very, very terrified.

Okay.

So I was living in Edmonton at the time and I was working North of Edmonton, at this really remote place. But I had an apartment in Edmonton and I was dating a guy in that community, but I'd broken up with this longterm boyfriend, months before. Just to set the scene.

Set the mood.

So I woke up one... I don't know, a Saturday or something. And I got my period, but it wasn't the time I was supposed to be getting it. And for me, I really often don't know when it's coming. So I was like, okay, no big deal. Didn't think anything of it. Went, put a tampon in. And literally 15 minutes later there was blood running down my leg. And I was like, wow, that's a really big first day. So I went and changed tampon, put another one in, put a pad on.

Wait, you put in another tampon?

No, took it out.

Oh, a new one.

Yeah. Put a new one in, right?

And a pad, because it was running down. You thought it was going through.

Yeah. And then a half an hour later, blood running down my leg. And I was like, what the hell is going on? And I went and sat on the toilet and this I..., It's like very vulgar, whatever.

No, do it. Graphic.

Blood. Literally a crimson wave, pouring out though. I was like, shit. And then I was like, what's going on with my body? So I put in another tampon, put a pad in and I didn't want to call 911. So I called 311. Right? And I was like, I may have that sort of, if you're not sure if it's an emergency call this number, so I talked to a nurse and I was like, I explained the whole thing to her and the most terrifying moment of my life as far as my health is concerned, she was on the phone and she goes, okay. And I was just very casually telling her and she goes, "Okay, listen to me very closely. You need to hang up the phone and you need to call 911".

And I was like, "What?" And literally I just started bawling. I'm like, "What do you mean?" She's like, "You need to call 911. You're hemorrhaging. You need to call 911 right now. Promise me you're going to hang up the phone and call 911". So I was like, okay. And then I was in shock and I couldn't call...I felt like calling 911 would be like admitting I was dying. So I was like, I can't do it. So I couldn't call my boyfriend at the time because he lived an hour and a half away. So I freaked out and I called my ex boyfriend. Who is a six foot five, cowboy, man's man. Never talked about periods, would not have sex with me on my period [crosstalk 00:22:41].

But eventually I convinced him anyway. So I called him in hysterics. Still there's blood coming out of me. And I'm like, "Can you please come get me? There's blood everywhere". And he doesn't know what's going on. And this is out of the blue. We hadn't talked in a little while. So he rushes over to my house and he had to come into my door and I'm excruciating pain and blood everywhere and bawling. And I opened the door and he's like, "What's going on? Have you been shot?" And I'm like, "No". And I'm just like, "There's blood, there's blood". And he's like, holy shit. So I'm like, "Take me to the hospital". So literally I couldn't walk. He carried me down the steps of my apartment. Carried me all the way down, put me in his vehicle. He had brought a towel. And put a towel down.

And drove me. He was like, "Where do we go?" Because I was living in the North end and we we're like, where's the closest hospital? It wasn't a very familiar area. So we drove around and finally went to the university hospital, which is a really amazing hospital in Edmonton. They're on the cutting edge of everything. Take me to the emergency. Literally I was rushed past everybody. Because you can bleed... You could die. You can bleed out, right? So I go in there and then they're like, "We need you to change into this" and I can't move. So my ex boyfriend, while I'm bleeding, has to take my clothes off. And I was so humiliated. But in love at the same time. I'm like, this is so... friend love, you know what I mean?

So he takes off my clothes for me and the whole time, I'm just like, "Don't look at me, don't look at my body". I was like, "You've seen it", but he's like, "I'm so sorry". But he's helping me. So we get the clothes off, get the scratchy dress on. And they put me on this cold ER table. And he's like, do you want me to stay while the exam happens? And I'm like, "No, get out of here!" Like, leave me alone! It was awful. So then the guy comes on, he's like, "I'm really sorry. We don't have a gynecologist on right now". He's like, "If you had been shot in the vagina, I'd be your guy. I'm the gunshot wound specialist". And I'm like, "Please don't make jokes with me right now" [crosstalk 00:24:47].

Shot in your vagina?

Right?

You're like, if only.

If only. So he goes, and I just did not know what was happening. You've got your legs up. And his head is disappearing down and doing things. And he's coming up to talk to me with his gloved hands and talking with his hands. And they are like... It's like a murder. It's like a horror film. There's blood everywhere. And he's talking to like, "Just calm down". I'm like, "Please put your hands down. It's making me more scared". He does the exam. They gave me some meds to stop the bleeding. And then that was it. They were like, we don't know what caused this. It doesn't look like you were hemorrhaging. It doesn't look like you had a miscarriage. They could not figure it out. So they just sent me home.

And so I had to go on estrogen and then I had to have all these tests done where they had to put stuff in and everything that's possible. And I would just randomly for the next six months, I would get my period. I would not have my period, and I would just... All of a sudden, it was an hour of crazy blood just pouring out of me and then it would stop. And I was on estrogen for about, I don't know, six months. And then it just disappeared. Literally it just went away.

It's so weird sometimes [crosstalk 00:26:00]-

... you ever any clue what it could have happened?

Never diagnosed. Because they tested me for cysts on your ovaries, which is a thing that can happen. Apparently it wasn't that. It wasn't any form of cancer. It wasn't hemorrhaging.

They tested me multiple times to see if I had been pregnant, accidentally if something had happened. Was never pregnant and wasn't a miscarriage. And to this day, they're just like, there's nothing. They're like, we don't know. But it's gone away, so you're okay. And the thing is, now, it's a funny story to me because after all... And now, my ex boyfriend, that was probably one of the last real encounters we had. I took him out for lunch afterwards to say thank you. But that was one of the last real encounters we had. So how traumatic is it for this guy that like, his ex girlfriend that he hadn't been talking to, you know what I mean? He undressed me, full of blood. So it just goes to show, even if you're not talking to someone, sometimes [crosstalk 00:26:51]. Right?

Oh my God. Wow.

I have a lot of questions for you.

Go ahead.

Okay. So tell me if I'm asking too far. If you don't want to answer, that's fine, but do you ever worry that it's going to come back?

I never really think about it that much because I feel like bodies are such... it's an infinity of confusion. We don't really know what's going on with our bodies and our brains and our physical bodies.

It's terrifying to think about it.

Right? And as much as we've learned and we can kind of diagnose things, I'm guessing that maybe I was just going through changes hormonally or something was changing with my body or you could even have been stressed or mental stuff, but I don't... I'm not stressed about it. I don't worry about it. If it happens again, at least I know what to do. Go to the hospital right away.

You know what I mean? And so, yeah, I mean, the only thing I worried about at the time was, there's a lot of cancer in my family. Everyone in my family except for me basically has had cancer. So I was worried about that. And I'm not sure if I want to have... Well, I'm not sure if I will ever have kids because of just timing and age and stuff. But I wonder if there's something connected to that, that will make it difficult for me to have kids. I'm not sure [crosstalk 00:28:01].

Did you ever get that checked out?

No, I haven't really gotten fertility and stuff checked out because I've been like, no fertility? Okay for me right now [crosstalk 00:28:11] honestly. But yeah. Crazy. So crazy.

It's just so unpredictable sometimes, especially with your period, because sometimes you just don't get it. A lot of women, some of them don't get it for like a year, two years, three years. And there's no reason why. They've know it's not because they're pregnant, it's just for whatever reason. Some women get it for two weeks straight. Some only have it for a couple of days.

But I think it's a really nice perspective. I think it seems that you're very in tune with your body and the way it is, because I think a lot of people would stress about it. Overly stress about it. And when you stress about things, [crosstalk 00:28:51].

That's one thing for sure. I am not a stressed person. I think that part of my health plan in life, like eat healthy, don't drink too much booze, but not being stressed is one of the most important things you can do.

And even, not even saying not being stressed, but being at ease or being self aware so that stress doesn't creep in. Because it literally is directly linked to so many things that we don't like to think about. I feel like cancer can be turned on so easily by being stressed. And we don't talk about that. We don't think about it. And for me... my mom's had cancer, my dad, my brother, my aunts. Everybody's had cancer. And I'm just like, the last thing I need is to be stressed about every little thing, because I'm sure at some point I'll get it. I feel like if we live long enough, we're all going to get cancer. Your brain and the energy your brain sends to the rest of your body to communicate changes you physiologically. And that's a fact. So if we think that it can change us physiologically for the good, it can also do that for the bad.

So we have to... You just have to keep it in mind. And I'm pretty nonchalant about my period in general. The fact that I have period pants every time I have my period. There's nothing I can do. I can't prevent it from happening again because they don't know what it was. So what can you do?

And stress does affect periods a lo., A lot, a lot, a lot.

I'm just going to say this, I'm very happy that you were our first story.

Yeah, so happy.

Just because I was expecting... I know I'm all about my feelings. I feel like I'm going to cry for some reason right now. I don't know why, but I just-

Do it. Cry!

You know I have no shame crying anyway. I'll cry anywhere. But I was expecting... you know when you invite people to tell stories about your period, you always assume that they're just going to be, I don't know if it's me, I just have the most ridiculous things that happened to me with my period. They're always like, ha ha, hoo hoo. Just ridiculous. No, they're so silly. They're so silly.

And this is a real emotional story. I can't imagine that happening to me, because I would have lost my mind. And you've almost come out with this tranquility. Which is so nice.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

And hopefully, if someone listens to this and they have a similar problem, they'll learn something from it.

Yeah. Just not to stress.

Not to stress! I guess that's what they'll learn. That they're not alone [crosstalk 00:31:12]-

... to your body and you think, oh my God, I'm the only one who's experienced this.

And we're never alone. There's others out there.

It's true. Whatever's happened to you, there is somebody else. At least one other person.

In the world. You can Google it and there will be other people.

There's probably someone who's into it. There's probably some guy who's like, "Yeah, tell me about your hemorrhaging story" [crosstalk 00:31:32] "I'm into that". Cool.

So thank you for being our guest.

You guys are the best. I think that this is the best idea and I'm so pumped that I got to be your first guest.

I'm so excited about this.

I think it's going to be a huge hit.

I think so. I'll listen to it all the time.

Yeah. Honestly, why wouldn't you?

I'll remind everyone, this will be uploaded to iTunes. So subscribe, please rate us.

Rate us, the Crimson Wave.

Rate us and share. Tumble us, blog us, tweet us. Tell everyone you know about the Crimson Wave and your period.

Yeah. Important, important stuff, I think.

Yeah, it's important.

It is important.

I wish everyone would discuss periods all the time.

And I think that you guys should get shirts made because you guys, let's talk about this, get it out there.

Absolutely. Just bright red shirts.

Bright red shirts.

No writing or anything. Just bright red shirts.

Our real blood. Yeah. I will bleed onto my shirt and never wash it.

Tie-dyed bloody shirts [crosstalk 00:32:32].

Okay. So thank you to Ayesha Alfa, who was our guest today. And we will be back with another episode, I guess, next week.

Oh, and check me out. Aishaalfa.com. My new website is launching this week.

Nice.

Exciting. And remember to check her out on the Struggle Panel.

Yeah. Struggle Panel.

As well as... You have a Facebook page?

Facebook, Twitter, and website are all Aisha Alfa. So @aishaalfa or aishaalfa.com and it's A-I-S-H. A-L-F, like Friday, A [crosstalk 00:33:06].

And we'll post all of that information as well.

Perfect.

Thank you for tuning in.

Go with the flow (music).

(singing).

Show Notes:

In this first episode hosts Natalie Norman and Jess Beaulieu welcome comedian Aisha Alfa to share stories of her period. For more information on Aisha please visit her website at Aishaalfa.com